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The ideal male lover

Alex Comfort's book 'The Joy of Sex' (1972) documented primarily positions for intercourse that he and his mistress had found pleasurable as part of...
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Female Masturbation

Techniques women use to reach orgasm

I'm sure that men will understand the point. We express our sexuality through two basic phenomena: Firstly, enjoying our own PSYCHOLOGICAL arousal by appreciating...

Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons. “Many...

Sexual Arousal

Women often assume sexual arousal during sex

Unless they masturbate, most women are unaware that clitoral stimulation is needed for female orgasm. Equally, they are unaware that before genital stimulation can...

Women’s sexual arousal

Published in 1972, ‘Joy of Sex’ by Alex Comfort MD was revolutionary at the time because it suggested a new openness and a sense...

Emotional Initimacy

Women settle for emotional intimacy over sexual arousal

On relating our experience to others, we all tend to gloss over details or not own up to difficulties that were perhaps transient. I told...

Clitoral Stimulation

Lack of arousal during sex

Intimacy with a lover causes me to feel affectionate but I am rarely conscious of any sexual arousal. Whether it's sex with a partner,...

The ‘non-genital’ female orgasm

In response to my suggestion that it was ridiculous to suggest that a man can give a woman an orgasm, a man wrote: "My wife...

What if female sexuality truly equalled male sexuality?

Imagine the scenario: a man and a woman facing each other, naked, in a world where men and women have an identical sex drive. So,...

Orgasm Techniques

Lack of orgasm is not a sexual dysfunction

It is often suggested that a lack of female orgasm during sex is a sign of sexual dysfunction but the truth is that this...

True female sexual arousal and orgasm

Any talk of sexual arousal and orgasm, usually focuses on women since men's sexual arousal and orgasm tend to be a given. It is unthinkable...

Sexual Fantasies

Sharing sexual fantasies

Although I knew that women's sexual arousal relies on sexual fantasies during masturbation, when I approached orgasm during sex, I never considered using sexual...

Enjoying Sex Play

Making the most of sex play

Overall my partner and I have been lucky to have enjoyed exploring eroticism and sex play together. Sure we have had our ups and...

Pleasuring a woman

An erection might feel good but it is likely to be a disadvantage if a man wants to devote time to pleasuring a woman....

Physical Intimacy

Sharing physical intimacy with a partner

I always enjoyed sharing physical intimacy with a lover but this is very different to achieving my own sexual arousal. I always knew that...

Some women do explore sexual pleasure

Slowly attitudes to sexual pleasure are changing and more couples are approaching their sex life with a willingness to try activities other than vaginal...

Understanding Men

Male sexuality involves a high sex drive

Faking illustrates how women are more concerned about keeping their partners happy or not appearing inadequate than they are about reaching orgasm. Otherwise, they...

Sex for life

One great aspect of men growing older is that they become slightly less obsessed with their own sexual arousal and need for sexual release....

Misconceptions

Women who appear to want sexual pleasure

When I was 21, I met an Italian boy of the same age during a stay in Rome. Alfredo cared about how he dressed...

Taking the ego out of sex advice

Why do adults so often assume that they know everything about sex when most people have never even read a sex manual? Everyone is entitled...

Modern Sex Advice

How do women reach orgasm with a partner?

Everyone says "but it all works fine for other women". My question is "How?" Men have more testosterone. Men get turned on by anything that...

The truth about female sexuality

Sex is a difficult subject to analyse because it relies on our emotions rather than our powers of logical reasoning. How many women have...

Sexual Desire

The sexual politics of female sexual desire

Although the modern day hype about female sexuality was in part sparked off by the work of Alfred Kinsey, the facts he reported have...