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I always enjoyed sharing physical intimacy with a lover but this is very different to achieving my own sexual arousal. I always knew that...

Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons. “Many...

Women have to learn how to orgasm

In the film ‘Shirley Valentine’ (1989), Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: “I’m not particularly fond of it – sex. I think...

Why sexual arousal is more elusive for women

Sexual desire is associated with ‘sex drive’. The male sex drive is a man’s biological drive to procreate by thrusting into a woman’s vagina...

Understanding women’s sexual arousal

Sex is associated with reproduction and with pleasure. Male orgasm is usually co-incident with ejaculation which leads to reproduction but female orgasm is not...

Women settle for emotional intimacy over sexual arousal

On relating our experience to others, we all tend to gloss over details or not own up to difficulties that were perhaps transient. I told...

Women’s sexual dysfunction

Although many sources refer to women's 'sexual dysfunction', it is rare to find a definition of what is supposed to be sexually ‘normal’ for...

Lack of arousal during sex

Intimacy with a lover causes me to feel affectionate but I am rarely conscious of any sexual arousal. Whether it's sex with a partner,...

The facts of female sexuality

Shere Hite pointed out in 1976 that intercourse does not provide the specific clitoral stimulation that women need to orgasm. So, it is very...

Women’s sexual arousal tends to be assumed or overlooked

Much of what is known about female orgasm comes from women's experience of masturbation. Shere Hite’s work focused on female masturbation and the clitoris. As...

The 10 facts of female sexuality

Beliefs about female sexuality are more often based on fantasy than facts. These are the 10 essential facts that every sexual woman should know: (1)...

How to give a woman an orgasm during sex

The suggestion is that for the perfect sex life a woman just needs to find the right man: usually a loving and considerate partner,...

Women who enjoy their own sexual arousal

Perhaps it would be simpler if I explained that I am targeting women who masturbate regularly in order to enjoy their own sexual arousal...

Sexual relationships favour male orgasm

Let's discuss enjoying sex play (7)

Very few women talk about orgasm

After finding no answers from talking to experts, I decided to do my own research by talking to women I came across in everyday...

Spice up your sex life

A young woman, who had promised her father that she would remain a virgin until a certain age, complied with his request by having...

Men are fascinated by sex

When I was seeing Bruce, a sexual psychologist, Peter also went along for one session by himself. It was a rare opportunity for two...

Men hope a lover will enhance their sexual arousal

The sex industry (prostitution and pornography) is a clear indication that men’s desire to enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm cannot be satisfied...

The sexual revolution set false hopes for female sexuality

Up until the 1950s society believed that women only had sex either for the purposes of procreation or to satisfy their partner. Alfred Kinsey’s...

Talking to women about female orgasm

Since the experts I talked to had no rational explanations, I decided to do my own research by talking to women I met in...

Advice on female orgasm

Given the practical nature of sex (book-learning only gets you so far!) we tend to assume that sex experts have personal experience to support...

Sex advice for women is often misleading

Natalie, a woman in her late twenties, had a close relationship with her mother who was a doctor. I approached Natalie hoping that a...

Women who fake orgasm

Men tell me how convinced they are that ALL their partners orgasm during sex. But that's kind of what faking orgasm is about, isn't it? If...