Top Stories

Women have to learn how to orgasm

In the film ‘Shirley Valentine’ (1989), Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: “I’m not particularly fond of it – sex. I think...
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Female Masturbation

Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons. “Many...

How we enjoy our best orgasms

Shere Hite identified two main approaches that women used to increase clitoral stimulation and their chances of orgasm during intercourse. They either maximised DIRECT...

Sexual Arousal

Sexual arousal from romantic emotions

Many women talk about sexual arousal and orgasm in terms of their relationship. They describe their loving feelings for their partner and explain their...

The mystery of female sexual arousal

In the film 'True Lies' (1994) Jamie Lee Curtis, as the dowdy housewife turned spy in the role of a prostitute, performs a sexy...

Emotional Initimacy

Why do women not always appreciate displays of male sexuality?

I have never seen any reason to be embarrassed about my body. I am pretty. I have sensual skin that browns easily and a...

Clitoral Stimulation

Understanding the G-spot

The Gräfenberg Spot, or G-Spot, has been surrounded by controversy ever since its ‘discovery’ only decades ago. Some women may have one about an...

The ‘non-genital’ female orgasm

In response to my suggestion that it was ridiculous to suggest that a man can give a woman an orgasm, a man wrote: "My wife...

Enjoying sexual pleasure

When it was suggested recently that UK schools should explain the role of the clitoris, mothers were up in arms. They objected to their...

Orgasm Techniques

The ideal male lover

Alex Comfort's book 'The Joy of Sex' (1972) documented primarily positions for intercourse that he and his mistress had found pleasurable as part of...

Transferring masturbation techniques to sex

Caroline lived on a farm as a child and was fortunate in having innocent and light-hearted sexual experiences as she grew up. Even as...

Sexual Fantasies

Sharing sexual fantasies

Although I knew that women's sexual arousal relies on sexual fantasies during masturbation, when I approached orgasm during sex, I never considered using sexual...

Enjoying Sex Play

How a woman can enjoy sex play

In the novelty of a new sexual relationship, I have explored a variety of sexual activities with a partner. So, in addition to vaginal...

Making the most of sex play

Overall my partner and I have been lucky to have enjoyed exploring eroticism and sex play together. Sure we have had our ups and...

Physical Intimacy

Women who want to enjoy sexual pleasure

When I was growing up there was never any embarrassment over nudity at home. As divorcees, my parents naturally enjoyed sexual relationships with various...

How to pleasure a man

Tracy Cox (author of ‘Hot Sex’ 1998) tells the story of a woman who welcomes her partner home wearing a sexy nightdress, with champagne...

Understanding Men

The marvel of male sexuality

The film 'The Way We Were' (1973) stars Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford (the Brad Pitt of my mother's generation). She's the young woman from a...

Men are fascinated by sex

When I was seeing Bruce, a sexual psychologist, Peter also went along for one session by himself. It was a rare opportunity for two...

Misconceptions

Interpreting experiences of female orgasm

When a man is stimulated sexually by a partner he finds it difficult to avoid becoming aroused. Similarly, if a woman’s response to penile...

Bluffers, fakers and sex surveys

Pam, an attractive woman in her late forties, told me that she had never had a problem with sexual arousal and orgasm. She started...

Modern Sex Advice

Defending the modern image of female sexuality

As a young woman I never understood why I did not experience sexual arousal as a natural part of my sexual relationship. Much later...

Explanations for women’s sexual arousal

Some people assert confidently that women orgasm easily during sex. Yet, when I ask for details, the responses are frustratingly vague and defensive. Many people...

Sexual Desire

Women who fake orgasm

Men tell me how convinced they are that ALL their partners orgasm during sex. But that's kind of what faking orgasm is about, isn't it? If...