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Most women are not aiming for orgasm through genital stimulation

Some women refer to 'making love' because the term more accurately describes their motives in terms of loving emotions rather than as an explicit...
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Female Masturbation

Comparing orgasm from female masturbation and with a partner

Graphs are not very exciting concepts but nevertheless they can be useful. Imagine the male orgasm graph which looks a little like a vertical...

Women have to learn how to orgasm

In the film ‘Shirley Valentine’ (1989), Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: “I’m not particularly fond of it – sex. I think...

Sexual Arousal

Why sexual arousal is more elusive for women

Sexual desire is associated with ‘sex drive’. The male sex drive is a man’s biological drive to procreate by thrusting into a woman’s vagina...

Understanding women’s sexual arousal

Sex is associated with reproduction and with pleasure. Male orgasm is usually co-incident with ejaculation which leads to reproduction but female orgasm is not...

Emotional Initimacy

Why sex is called ‘making love’

The heterosexual act of vaginal intercourse is designed foremost as an expression of love between a man and a woman. After all, if sex was...

Clitoral Stimulation

The ‘non-genital’ female orgasm

In response to my suggestion that it was ridiculous to suggest that a man can give a woman an orgasm, a man wrote: "My wife...

Lack of arousal during sex

Intimacy with a lover causes me to feel affectionate but I am rarely conscious of any sexual arousal. Whether it's sex with a partner,...

The facts of female sexuality

Shere Hite pointed out in 1976 that intercourse does not provide the specific clitoral stimulation that women need to orgasm. So, it is very...

Orgasm Techniques

Lack of orgasm is not a sexual dysfunction

It is often suggested that a lack of female orgasm during sex is a sign of sexual dysfunction but the truth is that this...

Transferring masturbation techniques to sex

Caroline lived on a farm as a child and was fortunate in having innocent and light-hearted sexual experiences as she grew up. Even as...

Sexual Fantasies

Clitoral stimulation is not everything

As long ago as the 1950s the clitoris, and not the vagina, was acknowledged to be the origin of female orgasm. So that by...

Enjoying Sex Play

Making the most of sex play

Overall my partner and I have been lucky to have enjoyed exploring eroticism and sex play together. Sure we have had our ups and...

Eroticism

Men and women live in different worlds when it comes to attitudes to eroticism. I suggested that most women today know how to pleasure...

Physical Intimacy

Some women do explore sexual pleasure

Slowly attitudes to sexual pleasure are changing and more couples are approaching their sex life with a willingness to try activities other than vaginal...

Emotional intimacy may lead to physical intimacy

Sex does not stand alone in a relationship and in long-term sexual relationships couples need to invest in quality time together. The candle-lit dinners, soft...

Understanding Men

The marvel of male sexuality

The film 'The Way We Were' (1973) stars Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford (the Brad Pitt of my mother's generation). She's the young woman from a...

Male sexuality involves a high sex drive

Faking illustrates how women are more concerned about keeping their partners happy or not appearing inadequate than they are about reaching orgasm. Otherwise, they...

Misconceptions

Is sexual arousal with a partner really so easy?

I approached my adult life in anticipation of a mutually enjoyable sex life. This optimism was fuelled by my love of erotic literature, which...

Sexual fact versus sexual fantasy

Imagine the scenario: a woman, wearing a skirt and no panties, climbs a ladder. A man below enjoys a clear view of her genitals....

Modern Sex Advice

Defending the modern image of female sexuality

As a young woman I never understood why I did not experience sexual arousal as a natural part of my sexual relationship. Much later...

Explanations for women’s sexual arousal

Some people assert confidently that women orgasm easily during sex. Yet, when I ask for details, the responses are frustratingly vague and defensive. Many people...

Sexual Desire

Sexual promiscuity

Renate, a student of twenty-six, liked to be affectionate with her male friends but then was bewildered when they interpreted her hugs as a...