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Many couples, both men and women, find any discussion of their sex life intensely embarrassing. This lack of discussion leads to difficulties in enjoying...
Women have to learn how to orgasm
In the film ‘Shirley Valentine’ (1989), Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: “I’m not particularly fond of it – sex.
I think...
Female masturbation is relatively uncommon
Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons.
“Many...
Sexual arousal during intercourse
When I had sex for the first time, I was disappointed because I had hoped that sex would be spontaneously arousing enough for me...
Understanding women’s sexual arousal
Sex is associated with reproduction and with pleasure. Male orgasm is usually co-incident with ejaculation which leads to reproduction but female orgasm is not...
Why sex is called ‘making love’
The heterosexual act of vaginal intercourse is designed foremost as an expression of love between a man and a woman.
After all, if sex was...
What if female sexuality truly equalled male sexuality?
Imagine the scenario: a man and a woman facing each other, naked, in a world where men and women have an identical sex drive.
So,...
Women’s sexual dysfunction
Although many sources refer to women's 'sexual dysfunction', it is rare to find a definition of what is supposed to be sexually ‘normal’ for...
Real female orgasms
In the film ‘Private Benjamin’, a group of female army recruits sits around a campfire during an overnight exercise.
One of the women says: “I...
The ideal male lover
Alex Comfort's book 'The Joy of Sex' (1972) documented primarily positions for intercourse that he and his mistress had found pleasurable as part of...
Positions and techniques for sexual intercourse
Shere Hite explained in the 1970s how the women in her surveys reached orgasm during sex. She compared women’s success with orgasm during masturbation...
Reaching orgasm
Rose was a pretty woman even in her late forties. Despite being a mother and housewife she always achieved a classy presentation. Rose told me:
“Although...
Pleasuring a woman
An erection might feel good but it is likely to be a disadvantage if a man wants to devote time to pleasuring a woman....
How a woman can enjoy sex play
In the novelty of a new sexual relationship, I have explored a variety of sexual activities with a partner. So, in addition to vaginal...
Women who want to enjoy sexual pleasure
When I was growing up there was never any embarrassment over nudity at home. As divorcees, my parents naturally enjoyed sexual relationships with various...
Emotional intimacy may lead to physical intimacy
Sex does not stand alone in a relationship and in long-term sexual relationships couples need to invest in quality time together.
The candle-lit dinners, soft...
Men are fascinated by sex
When I was seeing Bruce, a sexual psychologist, Peter also went along for one session by himself. It was a rare opportunity for two...
Sex for life
One great aspect of men growing older is that they become slightly less obsessed with their own sexual arousal and need for sexual release....
Bluffers, fakers and sex surveys
Pam, an attractive woman in her late forties, told me that she had never had a problem with sexual arousal and orgasm. She started...
Taking the ego out of sex advice
Why do adults so often assume that they know everything about sex when most people have never even read a sex manual?
Everyone is entitled...
What sex experts have told me
When my partner and I decided to get married, his work-mates took him out for a beer to convince him that marriage would mean...
Advice on female orgasm
Given the practical nature of sex (book-learning only gets you so far!) we tend to assume that sex experts have personal experience to support...
Young and sexy
A young and sexy woman complained about the male attention she got every time she left the hostel on 42nd Street, Manhattan, dressed in...
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